SATURDAY, April 6, 2024

A once in a lifetime Vatican experience

I was happy to see that we’d be able to get that iconic Vatican shot of the spiral staircase! It starts at a gift shop at the top and winds down to an exit.

We made our way (past a pretty outside early morning view of the St. Peter’s Basilica dome) to the office of the official key masters and joined key master Alessio Censoni, who we’d be following around, and his ridiculously big ring of keys. They have almost 3,000 keys for ~300 rooms (!!) though we’d obviously only be seeing some of those haha.

The tour started and we set out to open the museum. Throughout the tour, we took turns opening the doors and turning on the lights, somewhat arbitrarily volunteering, but they organize it well so that everyone has a chance to participate.

The statue Laocoön and His Sons, the courtyard’s highlight, is one of those that I had vividly remembered spending a lot of time on in art history class but admittedly only vaguely remembered any of the details other than it being Important. But I re-looked it up and am glad I did because it really is a wild ride:

1, the statue depicts vocal Trojan Horse skeptic Laocoön the priest being attacked by sea serpents who were supposedly sent by the gods to quiet his dissent (even though he was of course right about the spies). The deliberate representation of shouting the truth and being strangled into silence by the gods hits pretty hard right now.

2, the statue itself is legend in the art history world. It was sculpted in ancient Greece (experts don’t know exactly when, but ballpark the hundred years before or after 0 CE), but future people only knew about it because the ancient Greek writer Pliny the Elder had written about it, calling it the greatest work of art ever made. But no one had ever seen it. Then in the early 1500s a farmer in Rome dug it up. And a team was called in, including Michelangelo, to verify that yes, it was indeed that long lost sculpture. A huge moment in art history, and it became the prize of the Vatican collection.

and 3, when it was found, the right arm was missing up to the shoulder stump, which created a big debate about what the arm would have been doing. Michelangelo insisted that it would have been bent back in strain, and others thought it would be extended out heroically. In 1532, the sculptor Montorsoli created and added an ‘official’ outstretched arm, totally the opposite of what Michelangelo insisted. And then of course almost 400 years later, the original bent arm fragment was found and fit perfectly, proving Michelangelo had been right all along. Which, I’m sorry 🤓, is such an amazing metaphor for Laocoön also being shut up after insisting on the truth.

Anyway, it’s a cool and important sculpture, and clearly not bad to look at, which is why it was extra special that we were able to walk a full 360° around it on this tour, something that’s normally roped off for museum visitors.

We then headed upstairs to the upper floor of the museum to open up a series of iconic corridors, starting with the Gallery of the Candelabra.

We wandered through this pretty spectacular hall as Blanche pointed out various facts and tidbits, like the translucency of this ancient Roman marble that she’s shining a light through.

The next hall on the path was the ornate Tapestry Room.

Towards the end of the tour, it was time to visit the clear highlight of the Vatican Museums: the Sistine Chapel. For this one, key master Censoni held out his massive ring of keys and described the right one to open this door – whoever found it got the honors!

The Sistine Chapel is rightfully famous, not just for the incredible art but because it’s the place where the Cardinals gather to elect a new Pope. Turns out the famous chimney with white/black smoke isn’t there full-time, it’s piping that’s brought in specifically for the Conclave.

You can’t help but ooh and aah when the door is opened and the lights are turned on in this iconic holy place, painted and ornamented on every little bit of wall, and of course Michelangelo’s infamous ceiling.

Normally, you’re strictly not allowed to take photos in here, but for this special tour we were given permission for a few minutes! I took as much advantage as I could — the art history student in me couldn’t take it in enough. What an absolute treat, especially being in here in such peace and quiet with our small group.

Michelangelo’s ceiling is understandably the most famous part of the room – and in art history as a whole. The ceiling was originally painted as a starry night sky before Michelangelo got involved, which is hard to imagine now!

But as incredible as it turned out, Michelangelo apparently hated this job. He wrote a poem detailing the physical agonies he suffered: "I've already grown a goiter from this torture," complaining that his "stomach's squashed under my chin," his "face makes a fine floor for droppings," and his "spine's all knotted from folding myself over." He also declared he was not a painter and went straight back to sculpture when it was done haha.

The “Creation of Adam” (God reaching out to Adam with his finger) is one of the most well-known paintings in the world. One interesting tidbit: some theorists think the scene contains the unmistakable outline of a human brain, formed by the angels and robes surrounding God, possibly deliberately symbolic of God bestowing intelligence on the first human.

As impressive as the ceiling is, the back wall is equally as impressive imho. Michelangelo came back 25 years after finishing the ceiling to paint “The Last Judgement.” When you step back far enough, the whole composition starts to look like a face/skull — and once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Two fun highlights: Near the center of the wall is St. Bartholomew, holding a sheet of his own skin in his left hand and a knife in his right, symbolizing his martyrdom of being flayed alive. The face on the skin is reputed to be… a self-portrait of Michelangelo. Dark!

And then in the very bottom right, in the section depicting Hell (a little cut off in my bigger pic above), is such a petty detail. The Pope's Master of Ceremonies, Biagio da Cesena, saw an in-progress preview of this wall and was on Michelangelo’s case about all of the nudity. Michelangelo responded by painting Cesena as Minos, the mythological king of Hell, with large donkey's ears and a snake wrapped around him biting him right in the junk. And placed him right above the side door, the most visible spot from ground level. When Cesena complained to the Pope, the Pope apparently responded, "My dear son, had the painter sent you to purgatory, I would have used my best efforts to get you released; but I exercise no influence in Hell.” So the portrait stayed as-is. Lesson: don’t mess with Michelangelo.

We said our farewells, and as it was around 8am, a handful of us found our way to a little cafe in the courtyard for some breakfast and espresso.

While we were chatting with the usual small talk, I discovered that a young couple who was there was from my hometown of Tampa! …And then we kept talking and realized that we went to the same grade school, and the same synagogue (had a good laugh about meeting in the Vatican of all places), and that our parents live in the same small North Tampa community. I asked my parents after the fact and they definitely recognized the names. Talk about a small world!

We took a quick photo together but it was on their phone and I regret not getting a copy — but such a funny coincidence, and definitely the last thing I expected in this small group of tourists from around the world.

Since we were already inside the museum, we were allowed to stay and wander around as much as we wanted. I had definitely seen the highlights I wanted to see, but figured I’d take advantage of the time and explore the rest of the museum, in addition to a second look at some of those major personal highlights.

I didn’t really have a map or a plan, and found myself revisiting the Raphael rooms and of course the Sistine Chapel (now extremely crowded), but also a whole contemporary art wing that I didn’t expect to exist. Who knew the Vatican had a whole Matisse collection??

While the tour was fantastic and then some, what it didn’t include was a visit to St. Peter’s Basilica itself, so that was next on my list. There is a back way in through the Sistine Chapel, but only with a tour group and our guide Blanche has told us clearly that we weren’t that and would need to go in the main way. It’s free to tour the church, but there’s a long security line.

So I headed out the way we had come in in the morning (it was much more crowded now at 10am to say the least), and followed the literal big wall around the outside of Vatican City to make my way to St. Peter’s Square.

I found myself coming in through the back of Bernini’s colonnade, and into St. Peter’s Square with the Basilica at the end.

I knew it would be impressive and grand but it honestly took my breath away at the first glimpse.

Also impressive and grand was the security line. 😲

Though it moved pretty quickly, and I spent the time chatting with some people in line, and listening to Rick Steves’ audio guide to St. Peter’s. Might as well!

Eventually, I made it up to the front of the line and went through the very efficient security screening with multiple lines to walk through the metal detectors and have your bag checked...

Walking in was yet another absolute wow moment of the day – the scale of this place just really takes your breath away! I’ve never seen anything like it.

Every detail was so ornate, from the intricate tiles in the ceiling, to the marble sculptures around every corner, to the beautiful stained glass domes and windows.

After admiring the building itself for a few minutes, I had to make a stop to see one of the most iconic sculptures in all of art history: Michelangelo’s incredible Pietà. Showing Mary with the body of Jesus, it’s the only piece that Michelangelo ever signed, and he did it in a rage one night after he overheard someone attribute it to another sculptor.

It’s also behind bulletproof glass now, as in 1972, a mentally unstable man jumped the railings and attacked the Pietà with a hammer, shouting "I am Jesus Christ; I have risen from the dead!" He knocked off Mary's left arm, the tip of her nose, and her eyelid before the police were able to stop him, and it took a lot of restoration efforts to fix.

With that major cultural bucket list item accomplished, I continued to walk around the space, just admiring the breadth of art and history that was surrounding me.

I was walking around a little bit aimlessly, just taking it in, and found myself at the top of a spiral staircase heading down into the Vatican Grottoes where a good number of Popes and Cardinals are buried, some in very elaborate tombs. Including Pope Benedict XVI, who only passed away in 2022, making his tomb a jarring contrast to the more decorative centuries-old ones surrounding it.

And I didn't fully clock until I looked at my photos later that the (very elaborate) tomb of St. Peter himself is here.

After wandering around for a little while, I headed back outside for a last look around the piazza before heading on my way. The wall to the left here is the Sistine Chapel – which felt so far away at this point, I didn’t realize until after the fact that I was right there where I had been earlier on the tour.

Leaving the basilica, I was ready for some lunch. I had planned to go to a well-reviewed sit-down restaurant, but decided to just grab a quick bite instead. I kept hearing about the “trapizzino” which is a relatively newer trendy street food that’s basically a triangular pocket of pizza dough with fillings, and quickly found a bar nearby that sold them. They come served in this very cute little stand so that it can stay upright, otherwise you’d have a big mess on your hands haha. I got the “polpetta al sugo” which is a simple meatball in tomato sauce, and it was delicious!

The Prati neighborhood near the Vatican was one of the few places I’d be that was on a Metro line, so I decided to take a train back to my hotel to change for a much-needed spa appointment. The New Yorker in me always likes exploring the world’s subway systems – in this case the Rome Metro system only has two lines and it’s pretty impossible to mess up, so it was very easy to find my way!

And man was it the right decision. The facility was beautiful, and the staff really lovely, and I ended up relaxing in the thermal area for about an hour before my appointment, enjoying their Mediterranean salt room, hydro pool with jet beds, and hot/cold foot baths. There was only one other woman in there so it was nice and quiet. Bliss.

Feeling fully refreshed, I left the spa and headed outside. The hotel happened to be right at the top of the Spanish Steps, so I wanted to walk over and check out the famous site. I was feeling too clean and relaxed to walk all the way down and all the way back up, so I just checked out the view for a little while before heading on my way.

It was the right place, though, which was empty aside from another group of tourists. It was about 6:45, so I wasn’t surprised – Italians eat very late! (If they’d be here at all – tough to tell if locals would eat here or if it was just a tourist stop, though this was the first place I encountered where the woman working there didn’t speak any English, so thinking it might be for everyone.) There were so many choices and I couldn’t make up my mind, so quickly googled some reviews to see if there was one that was recommended a lot, and based on that decided on the Scappocia – tomato, mozzarella, and spicy salami. And the people were right – it was SO good.

I was only able to eat maybe half of it, but got a to-go box and went back to my hotel and spent the night just lounging and watching TV while snacking on the rest of the pinsa. Perfect relaxing night in, especially after such an eventful early morning. Look at me actually vacationing instead of running around Rome to squeeze everything in!